colorofthesky | IC Contact for lastvoyages

[ Zack watches the storm raging inside of Angeal burst out into the open, and he silently reflects on how strange it is that he feels so calm. He’ll think more about why that is later, but for now he just sits. Silent and unmoving until Angeal gets everything out.

After a carefully considered pause, he gives a quiet answer. ]

I’m not going to argue with you about this, Angeal.

[ He’s made his case, and that’s where he’s leaving it. That said— ]

The only other thing I’m going to say about this is — I didn’t share this with you so you could blame yourself for everything that happened. You weren’t there, and there were a lot of messy factors involved.

I told you so you could have context — not so you would punish yourself with this information.

I’m not washing my hands of him. Or you. I’m just not going to Warden you guys. Because I can’t.

But I did promise Sephiroth I wasn’t leaving this boat until he graduates. And that’s a promise I’m going to keep.

Edited 2024-12-29 18:02 (UTC)

[He knows who's at fault. Not entirely his own, but much of it. His choices led to this, and so much else. Pretending otherwise was pointless. Wasn't that why Shaw sent him here in the first place? Surely she knew Zack had more information.

It's important to know, how could he even begin to make up for what he'd done if he didn't know the full extent of it?

The image in his mind of a broken, bleeding but still alive Genesis at the bottom of that pit is going to be with him for a very long time.]

He's never going to. Not while here is better than anywhere else he could be, and gives him the one thing he wants. And if his Warden hasn't figured that out yet, you're all wasting your time.

[How like, and unlike, his old friend. Such laser, absolute focus.]

.. Is there anything else you think I need to know for context?

[ Zack takes another swig, his eyes still on Angeal. He’s probably going to need to hit something after this — because there’s a lot that Angeal just said that he could haul him off and punch him for. ]

I mean, there is more - but I don’t think talking about it today is going to be productive for you or for me. Since what you just said is frankly insulting to those of us who have been working on this for years - and making progress, by the way - and all you seem to want to focus on is him, when you should be focusing on you.

[ It’s a lot of work to keep his tone even, but being a SOLDIER, he manages it. ]

So go talk to Shaw and tell her you talked to me. We can talk about something dumb and unimportant next time.

[It's only then that Zack is looked at again, scrutinized for a long moment, expression creased with a frown.]

If you want to take it as an insult to your work, that's your choice. But by now you know as well as I do if you've been at it for years, that he has no motivation to graduate as long as that kind young man is here to make him want to stay. Cloud is his reward.

[And it shouldn't be, that much is clear in his tone; he doesn't approve of such a strong focus. But maybe it can still be used. He liked Cloud, the blond had a good heart. But it can't be easy to directly be dealing with, day after day, the laser focus and obsession of the man who burnt his town to the ground.]

You and Sephiroth are part of what needs to be 'focused on' in order to leave myself. That's why she sent me here.

[And to find out the greater extent of things he's responsible for.

Which was greater by far than he liked to admit. At least it seems he's willing to leave it at that, by the way he turns for the door, but whether Zack's willing to is another matter.]

[ Zack stares at Angeal, and for just a moment he’s just…stunned. Absolutely incredulous that this man could be so pigheaded.

But then…then, it morphs into anger.

Zack stands up, too, but this time he doesn’t bother to hide how furious he is. ]

No, Angeal. I don’t want you focused on me. Or him. I told you at the start of this that an apology right now wouldn’t mean anything. And whatever you think you can do for him or for me right now is going to amount to the same thing until you can look inside and deal with the shit that got us here in the first place.

And yeah, I am insulted. Because you just walk in here and act like you know better than the rest of us when you’ve been here a few months. Because you’ve been told some things. You haven’t lived what we have over the past few years on this ship, and all you’re doing right now is falling into the same fucking pattern that got us to a stand off in Modeoheim.

Until you fix THAT? Nothing gets better. And that’s what you should take away from this talk.

[One day it would be less of a distant surprise to watch Zack stand up and find them closer to height and weight than they'd ever been in memory before this ship. But what Zack doesn't say is that no, Cloud is not Sephiroth's motivation and reward. The rest ... is noise.

Not unimportant, just not as important. Confirmation that he was right, and Sephiroth's future hinged on poor Cloud, was not exactly what he'd wanted, but ... so be it. He'd told Shaw apologies were meaningless, that Zack did too was also confirmation.

Nothing he'd said was actually wrong. Just unwanted, because it was an uncomfortable reminder. Well, he can live with that.

He didn't have much choice.

But it doesn't seem Angeal has anything to say about that, at least nothing he's willing to put into words by the way his jaw tightens briefly, lips thinning. And the pattern repeats: he turns and heads for the door, silent.]

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